The Day the Blog Came Back


It’s Wednesday, August 9. (Hey, it’s my half-birthday! Hap irthd to me!) I’ve been awake for a bit less than an hour. I’m sitting here poking at my computer, drinking a canned cold brew coffee I got on sale yesterday. The flavor “Mexican vanilla” sounds exotic, but it just tastes like most sweetened coffees. I’m not complaining.

Blogging is something that fell to the wayside for me some time ago, and although I’ve thought about picking it up again many times, I couldn’t find the motivation. At some point perhaps I’ll get into why, but it doesn’t seem like a topic that would be of much interest… Really, writing of any kind has not just taken a backseat, it’s been stowed in a corner of the trunk for much too long. I had a bunch of other things in the backseat that took up too much space, so I put writing away to make room for it, and then… out of sight out of mind, I guess. Life kept moving on and I forgot writing in that spot in the trunk. I’m not convinced I’m actually good at it anymore, as I’m so very out of practice.

Despite all that, I’ve decided to do it anyway. I don’t know what I’m going to write about here. Maybe I’ll just write semi-regular journal-style posts and let you read the random rumblings of my brain. Maybe I’ll do cooking posts, but since I do not cook that often these days, it’s not too likely. I might have to revamp this entire blog so that it is better suited to the strange and disjointed web that my mind is at this point.

In a few minutes I’m going to take a big bag of random crap to Goodwill, then see if I can pick up a $2 loaf of bread from When Pigs Fly. I’ll get home before noon, and then the real “fun” begins… I have a lot that I need to get done, and rather nebulous social plans. I have no idea which things I have to/can get done today, or how much time I have to do them.

Thus my triumphant* return to blogging was established. Hello.

 

 

*…um…sure.

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I Like My Coffee


Like I like my men/women…

…usually in the same mug.

…with pastries.

…from a local independent coffee shop.

…with cream.

…with cinnamon.

…with eggnog.

…frequently bought at Starbucks.

…not too bitter.

…so good I wish I could savor it for hours.

…easy to acquire.

…made at home.

…in the middle of the afternoon, just because.

…with friends.

…earning me a stamp toward a free one.

___

Just a little bit of levity. Add your own in the comments!

 

Sharing: It’s going to be okay. — The Bloggess


 

It’s election day and I’ve thought a lot about what to write here. I’ve rewritten it a dozen times. If you read here you already know I’m super liberal so you can probably guess who I voted for. If you’re like me … Continue reading →

via It’s going to be okay. — The Bloggess

 

I read this last night, before the results were official. I still do not know how we got here. I cannot understand how anyone would see Trump as having the potential to be a capable leader of this country.

But I truly hope he proves me wrong, and that things end up getting better. For EVERYONE.

It’s a thin hope and I don’t think it’s likely. I don’t believe that’s how things will go. However, there will always be people out there fighting for what’s right, fighting for those that need more voices than their own to speak out. The world I actually want to live in is farther off than I would like but I still think it can get here. …Eventually.

Blaugust 31: Anywhere But Here


Time moves on and I, again, am stuck in place. Small things change, but never things that matter.

They say–“they” meaning everyone–that you have to make changes happen, instead of just waiting around. And maybe if I could figure out what I actually wanted, it would make sense to try to get it. I have no clue.

One of the things I miss most about college was the constant cycle of change. New classes, new temporary jobs and internships, everything happening in chunks of 3-4 months and then, before you know it, there’s a new thing starting. It was set up that way. The rest of your life could very well be the same exact day, year after year, until you die. If that happens to me, I can say right now that I will not be content. No, I’ll be sitting there, wondering why I couldn’t figure out how to make myself happy.

I need a change. I mean a REAL change, a big change. Move to a new country, start a brand new career, go back to school for something I’ve never studies before change.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m tired of the way things are now.

Blaugust 30: Nope


Today I’ve been stuck in one of those black holes of work in which a fairly simple task is taking much longer than I thought it would. This is certainly due in part to the fact that I haven’t been able to focus. In that situation, 15 minutes of work ends up taking at least an hour.

Unfortunately, this means two things: 1. I will be working until very late to finish this, and 2. I don’t have time to think about blogging today. Not that I have anything to say either.

So another stupid post to add to the list. What else can I do?

Blaugust 29: I’m A Spam


I keep getting emails sent from myself that are kind of like this:

 

screenshot_2016-08-29-09-50-50.png

Note: I don’t get migraines, so I’d definitely never send this to myself 😛

 

Only today did I think to check that they were in my “sent” folder and thus suggested that I was actually hacked, as opposed to someone cloning my email address or whatever it is people do.

So I guess I was hacked, which could turn out to be not good.

I would really like to feel like I am real. It’s a struggle for me that has surfaced many times since I left college. Living in the “real world” sometimes makes me feel like I’m disappearing… and being someone who felt invisible during most of grade school, despite taking up a fair amount of physical space, that seems like an accomplishment–of course, not a good one.

So, I guess it’s time to be changing my password…

Blaugust 28: However Far Away…


I’ve decided it’s time for a Song of the Day post now. Because I feel like it.

Today’s song is “Lovesong” by The Cure, which I heard today and kept thinking about all afternoon.

I was going to include the music video, but I’m not sure how I feel about it… it sort of changed the whole tone of the song when I watched it because it’s really weird. Has anyone else felt that? Anyway. Watch the music video on youtube or put the song on to listen as you please. It’s ALL up to you, dear.

(There’s also a live version by Adele I just found that was pretty good, but very different from The Cure’s original. Yes, sometimes I listen to Adele. Move on please.)

 

Lyrics (from Google Play)

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

 

Blaugust 27: Try. Fail.


Today was not a good day. I feel like it SHOULD have been a good day because the whole point was to relax and not get stressed out about anything. For ONE DAMN DAY. But I’m not sure how it COULD have been a good day, simply because there are circumstances in my life that just make things really difficult in general.

 

What I thought I would do today:

Take a long walk

Yoga

Read

Pick up my room a little

Call some people

 

What I actually did:

Glance at my work email (bad idea)

Netflix

Emails

Notice joint pain

More Netflix

Check bank accounts (VERY bad idea)

Think about how life could be better

Try not to cry (failed)

Shower

Sulk

 

Now there’s just enough time that I could probably manage to get some reading done, or do very light yoga… but you know how you get to a certain point in a bad day and you can’t imagine trying? It’ll be an achievement if I do the least bit of prep for lunch tomorrow, which I HAVE to bring to work with me because I’m not going to be able to afford to buy lunch out.

Blaugust 26: Misusing Writing Prompts


Fiction Prompt (from Poets & Writers)
You know that weird notion that sometimes surfaces when you meet new people–that feeling that you already know them, but can’t remember why or how? Write a scene for a story about two people who both experience the same déjà vu upon meeting, with a plot driven by their need to figure out how they know each other. Use this opportunity to add an element of magical realism to your story. Perhaps they were married in a past life, or maybe they met in a dream. Once they solve the puzzle, how does this impact their lives going forward? Do they even believe the answer, or do they agree it’s too far-fetched?

This reminds me of a story I wanted to write. A story about love and dreams and reality. I was going to have the main couple meet in a dream–except, instead of A dream, they would keep meeting in dreams, and the dreams would vary a lot as dreams do. I was going to have them be birds one time.

Fairly recently I read a summary of a new book that had a much too similar premise to this. Of course what I thought was, I waited to long and now it’s too late. Someone else did it, so I shouldn’t even bother.

Now, I haven’t read this book so I don’t know the details of the plot. And it’s safe to say that this book is not exactly the same as the book I would write. It does seem close enough, though, that it makes me wonder. Because, see, I would much prefer to put writing out there that is unique. I dread the idea of someone reading a book I wrote and thinking, “I could have written that.” I don’t see the point in writing if I’m only doing what has already been done.

Maybe it’s not possible to do something as different as that without becoming China Mieville. The details of his worlds are quite fascinating… but the next person to write like him is just going to be seen as “copying.” Because when you’re THAT different, no one else can just happen to go there.

 

(Please don’t ask me what the gif has to do with the post… because the answer is nothing.)

 

 

Blaugust 25: Yes, It IS Too Hot


Recently, it’s started to cool off a little bit. That would tend to happen in the later part of summer, right? Seems logical? I couldn’t say. It’s so hot that I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT LOGIC IS.

I guess this is how weather in New England has always been, but according to most news outlets each year is setting new records for heat. So when it gets cooler for a few days and I can get through the day without feeling like I’m melting–and then it gets hot again, I really feel offended. The weather has perpetrated a personal slight against me. I get too comfortable when it cools off, thinking that I’ll finally be able to function like a human rather than a pile of goo, and I’m never prepared for the heat wave that ALWAYS comes back again, it seems.

That was very badly written. It’s because I’m so hot. Because my room retains heat like it’s lined in lead or something. (Is that how lead would work? I’m really tired so I’m not sure if that’s correct.)

 

This post is stupid.

Death to summer. Long live fall!

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