I should take a walk. I should go outside. It’s so sunny, the sky is so blue, and I really need a few minor grocery items. But now that it’s actually turned into winter and there’s snow on the ground, I am reluctant to go out…
…because of shoes.
I don’t have any good shoes to wear in the snow. I have some that are, at most, acceptable for a short walk, assuming I can get back inside and take them off when they inevitably become soaked with gross, salty snow (I live in the city so the snow gets gross very quickly). In fact, in every sense, preparing my legs to go out in winter weather is always the worst part, especially if I want to wear a dress. Socks won’t do because I’ll still be cold, but tights are not warm enough. And I’ve worn multiple layers of socks before and I have to say, I don’t enjoy it.
Also, as I’m still waiting on some income that has been delayed, it’s better to stay in. If I do go to the store to buy my bread and half and half, I’ll be tempted to get something else as well, and it won’t be something I really need, but it would be tasty and hard to turn down. So to avoid the inevitable extra expense of something I shouldn’t buy, I should stay at home.
But if I don’t buy bread, what am I going to do with all this jam?
Let’s not think about how much I could have done over the weekend and didn’t. How far behind I am on everything I want to have done already. How much my apartment needs a good cleaning… Let’s talk instead about my favorite independent cafe.
My favorite food to order at Cafenation, for as many years as I’ve known about its existence (about three), has been the blackcurrant scone. Its buttery flavor and dense, rich texture made it, in my mind, the perfect scone. I would get one sometimes when I wasn’t even hungry, because they were so good and I knew I’d be hungry at some point.
In my memory (which has been wrong at times, but we’ll just go with it), the first time I got it was a morning when I was interviewing someone for a short biographical article. I got up early, walked down to the cafe, ordered a coffee and one of these scones, and brought them back home. I ate it as I set up my things for the phone interview, and it was probably the most satisfying breakfast I’d had for some time. The interview and article writing both went fairly well, but that’s not really relevant to this story.
Over the past three years–or, the parts of those years that have taken me near the cafe–I have bought one of these scones more often than any other food at this cafe. Suddenly, a few weeks ago, I stopped seeing it. Since I had only been a few times, always later in the afternoon, I assumed they had sold out… but then, they usually had a few left at that time. So I asked while I was ordering a coffee, whether they were just out of them momentarily, and I was informed that they had to switch to another bakery.
Ok, that’s out of my system now. I ordered a blueberry scone to try the new ones, and it was good. But not as good as my favorite, my love, the blackcurrant scone. I was disappointed. This is long ago enough now that I have moved on, but there will be times when I think of that one scone that I crave and I will regret that I can’t get it anymore. But hell, it’s just a scone, right? There are other things I would be much more devastated to lose.
Earlier this year, Cafenation had decided to close their kitchen at 3pm every day. I assumed they just weren’t selling enough kitchen-prepared orders in the later hours to keep the kitchen open, and since I rarely ordered from the kitchen anyway, it didn’t actually affect me very much. Still, I like having the option, so it always felt slightly disappointing. Now, they’re keeping the kitchen open later, but the cafe closes at 6 now, instead of 7 or 8, when they used to be open. Once again, this doesn’t really change anything for me, except that I don’t like going to restaurants or cafes in the last half hour before they close, which will have to happen from time to time, as I frequently leave work at 5:30.
I am the very first to admit that these are not real problems. The point is that people do not react well to change. I’m trying to get to a point where I can more quickly shake off that first disorientation of finding something to which I’m accustomed suddenly changing and move more quickly to filing away the new information and adjusting accordingly. Particularly when the change will have very little (if any) impact on my life.
Doesn’t that seem enlightened?