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Blaugust 22: NEVER STOP


There is danger in taking a break, especially if you’re feeling overtired.

If you are like me, you’ll prefer, as opposed to going straight from one job into the next, to take a little time to relax. Maybe you read some leisure articles on the internet. Maybe you scroll through facebook a few times. Or watch an episode of a thing.

Maybe then you feel really sleepy, so you lay down to take a nap for a little while. At that point it’s already been nearly two hours, and the nap adds another hour onto that.

Then it’s starting to get kind of late, and you haven’t decided what to eat for dinner. You don’t really have time to make anything because you took such a long break that you need to spend pretty much every remaining moment of the day working.

So, while you intended to take a short break and be back to working within an hour, instead you took over three hours and now, you’re stressed out over how much you can actually get done. How late will you have to stay up to get the work done that you need to? Or, how much will you be able to do before you get too tired to concentrate?

This is me at the moment. Having gotten stuck in a long cycle of procrastination and then bursts of nonstop work to make up for it, and trying finally to resist this cycle by NOT procrastinating again, I’ve been in a sort of nonstop work phase. I took a break from work for half the weekend, but the break was full of obnoxious train travel and social plans, and so I still find myself very, very tired.

The plan was (and still is) to keep doing the work I need to do, working straight through until I finish (which will likely be sometime between Wednesday midday and Thursday morning), and then finally take a real break from editing type work until next week. In the meantime, I also have the regular shifts at my retail job, and I’ll be there all day on Sunday.

Working harder in the short term is all in the service of getting my adult life on track (I would have said “back” on track but, really, was it ever?)–dealing with debt, finally having a savings account again, and actually getting ahead of my bills for the first time in a loooong time. And this plan always seems like something that should be simple enough to do. Just keep working. Not complicated, right?

Well. Sometimes, it turns out to be extremely draining. So you try to take a short break, but you end up losing precious time to the vast vacuum of the Internet. You look back and know that you didn’t do anything with that time that you’ll ever even remember. And maybe you regret it. And then you lose more time thinking about all the time you lost…

Bad plan.

At that point, you just get back to what you were doing and you get as focused as you can. Which is my plan for right now.

 

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Woe Is Wednesday…


Well. Last night I decided I should make a pizza bagel for dinner, after buying bagels from Cafenation. It was very tasty but, of course, being pizza, it burned the roof of my mouth. So breakfast this morning was a little painful.

Worse, though, was the sad state of my coffee. I don’t know what happened exactly, but it wasn’t good today. It wasn’t terrible, so I drank it anyway. But I was kind of sad about it. Between that and how bad my hair looks today, I am not loving this Wednesday. I’m also very very tired, I think I need several days to just sleep.

Woe. Woe is me.

So the debate going on in my head is should I just have unsatisfying coffee today, or should I go out and get some? It should be an easy answer. It would help me be a little bit warmer in this freezing cold office (I’m exaggerating, but I am definitely cold), and I tend to go out for some food or drink every day, sometimes even just to get out of the office for a few minutes. But I’ve done very badly with my money this month so I would like, ideally, to spend as little as possible until whenever it is next week that I get my paycheck.

But coffee.

And sadness.

And so the debate goes. And screw it, I’m probably going to go get a coffee. I should be able to spend $2-4 today without a problem…

I think this problem could have been very easily avoided if I could have worked from home today. In fact, it would eliminate many problems if I could work from home. Logistically, I could do it. My tasks are generally things I do at a computer by myself, so…

Life is NOT fair. It’s not even close.

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