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Blaugust 31: Anywhere But Here


Time moves on and I, again, am stuck in place. Small things change, but never things that matter.

They say–“they” meaning everyone–that you have to make changes happen, instead of just waiting around. And maybe if I could figure out what I actually wanted, it would make sense to try to get it. I have no clue.

One of the things I miss most about college was the constant cycle of change. New classes, new temporary jobs and internships, everything happening in chunks of 3-4 months and then, before you know it, there’s a new thing starting. It was set up that way. The rest of your life could very well be the same exact day, year after year, until you die. If that happens to me, I can say right now that I will not be content. No, I’ll be sitting there, wondering why I couldn’t figure out how to make myself happy.

I need a change. I mean a REAL change, a big change. Move to a new country, start a brand new career, go back to school for something I’ve never studies before change.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m tired of the way things are now.

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Five Things Friday


I said I’d do it, so I’m doing it… promising to do a certain type of post each week can put you in an awkward position if you don’t have a good topic that week. Of course, no one would really even notice, I’m sure, if I didn’t do it. But I’m trying to be better about following through with things, having spent the last year essentially procrastinating on every possible thing. So here are five things, I guess. My five “resolutions” for the year. They aren’t things that can be achievements that are completed by the end of the year, but things that are meant to propel my life in a better direction.

  1. Save, pay off debt, make more money.
  2. Write more often.
  3. Work out at least ten minutes every single day. Actually, make it fifteen.
  4. Get my physical space organized and keep it that way.
  5. Actively pursue work that will make me happy.

I know, these all probably seem like obvious and common New Year’s Resolutions and you’d expect me to forget about them by the end of the month. If I’m lucky I might last until March.

Well, this is just not the case. It has become painfully clear (like, it was really painful…) that I need to make quite a few changes in my life. That’s not going to change in a few months so my goals will remain the same.

100 Happy Days: Day 101


I’ve just completed the 100 happy days challenge, which I posted on my Instagram account (https://instagram.com/norecipelife). In case you haven’t heard of it, the basic idea is that you post at least one picture a day capturing something that made you happy. It was kind of fun, and definitely interesting, but more often than not I found it kind of annoying. Just another frustrating thing I have to do that I don’t want to.

In theory, participating in the 100 happy days makes  you think about good things in your life, with the intention that it will take focus off the negative things and make you grateful for what you do have. I love that idea. It’s great. But the reality didn’t really work out so well.

A large part of this not working out as planned was the time in my life I chose to do it. Because I work from home there are a lot of days I see absolutely nothing interesting whatsoever. Due to a lack of means to go out and do exciting things, bad time management, and a pretty uneventful social life, there really didn’t seem to be anything worth sharing on a lot of days. I’d search around for something and usually it would just be a picture of food, or I’d google image search for something cool and be happy about that instead of anything in my real life. A lot of my pictures wound up being of food, or coffee, and while I don’t have a problem with that really, it is kind of boring and seemingly pointless if you look at them all together. It got to a point where I was like, is food really the main thing that makes me feel happy at this point in my life? Because that’s kind of sad. On my penultimate day, the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality in all 50 states, and it was awesome to be able to include that in my set of pictures. I was very glad that happened on the 99th day. However, the next day I posted several pictures and ALL of them were food-related.

Lesson number 1: If you’re going to start this challenge, you should try to pick a time when something interesting or exciting is already built into your plans, so that you have other things to share than just food. Vacation, graduation, party, I don’t know. Something like that. Or you could actually have a social life, unlike me.

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