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Blaugust 18: Do or Do Not. There Is No Try


Yoda was a wise old Jedi.

 

I’ve been thinking about my (lack of) workout routine today. Very few people reading this (just one or two, probably) will know that there was a time I used to work out nearly every day. I didn’t do super intensive workouts, just enough to get my heart rate up and work up a bit of a sweat. Generally, this consisted of yoga and bodyweight/dumbbell exercises, no gym required, just the decision to do it.

(Related: I once trekked home from City Sport carrying twenty pounds of weights that almost ripped through a reusable grocery bag. My shoulders were just a little sore when I got home…)

I honestly can’t say why I stopped, but at some point I just started NOT working out more often than I did. From time to time I would try to get back into the habit in small steps. “Just start by doing ten push-ups every day this week. That’s not too hard.”

Or, it shouldn’t have been. But I’d do it for the first two days. Then the third day I just didn’t feel like it. The next day, I completely forgot about it. Two days later I did the push-ups again, but gave up shortly. This sort of story (with different activities–a little bit of planking, a few sets of squats) happened a few times. Each time it just didn’t work.

I tried using this “start with a little bit” method of getting into the habit of working out because I read the advice in several articles. I can only say that for me, this does not work. It’s too small of a commitment. The time and exertion that actually goes into it is negligible. It feel pointless to do it, and utterly unimportant if you miss a day. I’ll just do them tomorrow! Except no, I won’t, because tomorrow five to ten minutes of working out will still seem too dumb to bother with.

The workout will not actually affect how I feel unless it’s at least thirty minutes (twenty can work, but only if I really do it every single day). Gotta get the heart rate up. Get the endorphins going. I need to work in a “real” workout or I just won’t feel any point to it.

I type all this out in the hope that verbalizing this issue I’ve been having (and the solution I’ve come up with) will push me a little more toward actually doing something, rather than just thinking about it.

What do you think?

 

Monday Madness: Odd Motivation


Happy birthday, Martin Luther King, Jr. I don’t get the day off to celebrate but I hope you have a fun ghost party.

I’ve discovered an interesting pattern: I’m able to focus on work (of whatever kind) for a solid several hours after watching at least one episode of Gilmore Girls.

Pop culture (movies and tv in particular) is not generally something I find helps me work. Typically it helps me avoid work. This is a very odd phenomenon, completely out of tune with my life in general.

I have a guess for why this happens, but I couldn’t say for sure.

The women in the show (the main ones) are very driven, with specific goals and very obvious determination. Others do not have the same goal-orientation, but they are very talented or have strong personalities. I think that watching them instills, to a certain degree, the urge to get something done. Watch an episode, edit thirty pages. Or something like that. I wanted to work on my own writing again, but sadly I did not have time.

You know what’s not motivating, though? Hint: I talk about it a lot–my commute. I find it draining and I need time to recharge after I get to work. This can be a problem because I can’t leave early enough to have proper time for recharging. I like sleep too much for that. Why couldn’t I have found a job I could get to without wanting to die? WHY?

And why do buses have to change their schedules on certain days? All you really achieve is making the people who still need to use the bus that day wait for absurd amounts of time.

 

I need to stay off facebook on days like this. People are posting their day-off activities all over the place and not only do these activities not have anything whatsoever to do with me, but they make me jealous that I have to be at work. So. Keep it to yourself, why don’t you?

Monday Madness: What even happened this weekend.


Ever have one of those times when you have a four-day weekend and you get so overexcited about not having to do anything that you really just don’t do anything?

That’s pretty much what happened this past weekend.

Then I woke up this morning with a bit of a queasy stomach and still feeling totally exhausted, so I’m working from home.

But I did have some good times last week. I posted on Wednesday or so that I was going to The Fireplace. I did, and I did in fact order the lobster mac and cheese. It was served with spinach and broccoli, and it was made with really decadent, fancy cheese. It was in fact very delicious. I’m hoping to plan another outing there to get the burger, which, as I’ve been mentioning up and down to everyone I talk to, is actually in my real price range (not often, but once, sure).

I ordered dessert as well, the brownie sundae, after filling up pretty thoroughly on my rich dinner and the generous portion of broccoli. It was too much, and I wished afterward that I’d gotten the lemon tart instead, BUT it was very tasty and I’m sure you would enjoy it if you ordered it. Although I wished for more peanut butter sauce.

Saturday I went to Passage to India in Porter Square and there were lots of leftovers for me. I thought their portions were very generous, about what you would hope for for the price, and also very delicious. I got the moongia chicken special, mostly because of the inclusion of cilantro, and I was not disappointed.

Ah, food. I do love it.

Considering that the office is again going to be closed Thursday and Friday, September really is almost over. I’m probably going to have to give my work an extra push on Monday, the last day of the month, but overall I’m not worried about getting all my work finished. The benefit of working like a maniac earlier in the month. I put in lots of extra hours at home the first two weeks, and some the third week, to make sure I would be able to meet deadlines. This is how we do it in the real world. Often, it kind of sucks at the time, but then I feel quite proud of myself for having everything done.

Off to be slightly productive today. I’m not going to push too hard because I don’t feel too great today (as mentioned above), but I have a certain amount of work I want to make sure I get done.

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad Monday.

Last-Day Syndrome


Aaagh, 2 days, seriously? It’s so soon! I am experiencing that thing where it’s the last day before a break so I really don’t want to do anything, but the one important task I need to finish before I leave did not actually get completed yesterday. Why do manuscripts have to be so long? … So I’ve got to get down to business and finish that today, and then do as much of the next manuscript as I can. STRESS. Plus, I really need to clean my room, but I don’t think I’ll have time…

I’m going to have to make SURE I relax and enjoy myself for this vacation, because preparing to go on vacation is so stressful. Does this count as irony? Probably not. But it seems like it should.

I had the last of my leftover tikka masala for breakfast. Hey, if you can have breakfast for dinner, then dinner for breakfast is also acceptable. That’s what I say. Tonight or tomorrow I’ll be putting up a non-recipe post about it. I have some good-ish pictures.

As much as I would like to blog all day, I should really get this work done. So…

Monday Madness: A Mistake, Possibly? (I really hope not…)


So, the news today might be evidence of actual madness, because, oh my god. I just created a new Youtube account with the intent of starting a vlog. I have been contemplating vlogging for a while, going back and forth between “that looks like fun/ it can’t be that hard, tons of people do it” to “who the hell wants to watch me talking at a camera? I don’t have a particularly interesting personality.” I know plenty of people will say they disagree with that last bit, yet I’m still on my own most of the time, so I don’t really know what to think about that. I don’t have a “thing” that would make my channel particularly interesting, I just have me.

I don’t want to vlog if no one’s going to watch the videos, because that’s going to be a lot of effort put into filming and editing that will feel wasted if no one sees them. The best thing to do, I guess, will be to approach it like I do with blogging–just make the videos I want to make, and hope that other people will like them, because if you aren’t doing it for yourself, then no one else is going to be interested.

The idea is a no-recipe vlog–that is, it will combine all of the content from this blog and Between Worlds. I will talk about writing, food, books, shopping (although I’ll try to refrain from hauls for the most part), clothing, and general life experiences. And whatever I want because that’s how we do down in the land of no recipes…

The reason it really seems like madness is twofold, both of those folds related to putting myself out there in that way. For one, I don’t like broadcasting my private life on the internet, which is why there are so many things I don’t post on facebook or on my blogs. So I’ll have to be careful about what gets revealed on the vlog. The second thing is all about my many insecurities and the potential to be rejected by literally EVERYONE in the world (who has access to Youtube). I would say more about that, but… it seems pretty self-explanatory.

I also have no idea how the hell I’ll ever be able to film a cooking video. I don’t have anyone I could coerce into helping me film, and my kitchen isn’t really set up so that I would be able to position my camera… anywhere, and actually catch the relevant action. And I can’t just cook with one hand. So until I can get some actual filming equipment (which might be never), that probably won’t happen.

I’m going to try to do video #1 in the next week or so, and it will probably be a general introducing myself video. And I guess we’ll see?

 

 

 

 

 

 

(…Oh, god. Why am I doing this?)

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