Every single thing I tried to do in 2015 failed. It just fell waysideways. I didn’t write, I didn’t blog, I mostly stopped cooking, I barely read anything.
I DID watch lots and lots of Netflix, but that does not count as an accomplishment.
I did think a lot about what I wanted to be doing, and how far away I am from anything I really want. I did have many small mental breakdowns and almost-anxiety attacks (like just the beginning of it, where it has the potential to turn into an anxiety attack, but it doesn’t get that far).
Going into the new year I have a lot of goals and aims. In short, I just can’t keep sitting around and wasting time. I have wasted so much time, I could have lived a whole extra life by now. Starting to blog again is a small step toward improving my life, and at least it will be an outlet for some of my ideas. (Side note: a part of this goal is to stop making any posts talking about how I’m going to start blogging more. They’re pretty much pointless and the last few times I’ve written them, that claim has proven false.)
Beginning next week, I am bringing back Monday Madness and Five Things Friday posts! I think, actually, I did the latter on my OTHER blog in the past, but this time I’m going to do both here. I don’t think I’ll have any food posts for a while, and I may actually leave that alone for a while. No one wants to read your food posts if you can’t take good pictures, right? But look out for some random ramblings. Hopefully, they’ll entertain a few people.
If you have a moment and feel like it, go ahead and read the post on my writing blog by the same name.
First of all, I want to direct your attention to the new temporary home page of my blog, which is the “About” page. I have added a note to readers that I hope will explain the many changes that may occur on this blog in the next few months as I try to make it a real “thing.”
I know I haven’t done much here lately. I have just written a little bit about why that is. See the last few posts for more on this… and it’s not because i don’t like this blog anymore or because I don’t have an interest. Sometimes life just happens that way it does and there’s not much you can do but ride along until you can take the wheel again. Right?
Unplanned hiatus aside, as this blog gained momentum, I really started to feel like I wanted to turn No-Recipe Life into a sort of brand. I made a facebook page, a youtube account, and then a tumblr with the same name. I don’t use the facebook page much (because there are only a handful of followers, all people I know personally, and no one ever responds to posts), I haven’t made a new video for the youtube account in months (mostly because I don’t have the resources to make the kinds of videos I would really like to have on there). I still use the tumblr fairly frequently. I like tumblr a lot. There’s a link off to the side of the page here if you want to check it out.
It’s been sort of a slow process, figuring out the whole no-recipe life thing and how I want to use and share it. I tried to apply to much structure to it and I felt too limited to do much of anything. Lesson learned. Now, I think I have a better idea of what I want to do with this blog. First of all, I need a different theme that really helps me achieve this. There will probably be a lot of experimenting and changing things around for a little while as I get this all figured out. I wish I could put up an “under construction” page in the meantime, but the note on my About page is the best I can do in that regard.
As I work on this, it’s possible that a lot of my posts will be along the lines of this one. A little rambly, a bit personal, not actually about food or lifestyle topics. Those will come around again, I promise. For now, this is where we are. We’re on a path and at the end is a meadow full of flowers, deer, and bunnies. Probably butterflies too. And bumble bees. (…Too much?)
And to finish up, what do people think about me starting up Monday Madness posts again? I’ve been thinking about it, and it was nice to have a regular time to make a post. Let me know how you feel about that. Thanks.
I’ve forgotten everything I was going to write about. My brain is not working at all. Everything that has happened so far today was so frustrating and tiring that I don’t even want to blog. But I haven’t missed a Monday yet. (Except when I was on a cruise. Because I couldn’t get online.)
That awkward moment when Pandora won’t let you skip any more songs, so you have to just jump between stations and hope for the best.
While the dream of being a published writer is still hanging over everything I do, pushed back in favor of being a responsible “adult” (ugh. the worst), I keep coming up with new goals that are all… kind of weird. Not that they don’t make sense, but they’re just not things most people would think of as important goals. Things like having a really nice bed (I guess I could somehow get my mattress from my mom’s house moved, but… either a lot of time and effort or a lot of money) and having someone to bring me coffee–not a significant other, in particular, but maybe an assistant whose job it was just to bring me coffee when I really need it and am either too busy or too tired to get it myself. But I guess that kind of thing only happens for rich people?
I keep thinking about random other things to pursue in my life. For example, I LOVE food. It’s one of my favorite things about life. It’s the original reason I started this blog, although it’s branched out a bit since then. I bet if I found the right angle or audience or whatever I could make a career out of something food-related. I mean, look at Hannah Hart. No seriously, go watch her videos. She’s one of my favorite vloggers. She does the My Drunk Kitchen and Hello, Harto series. (Side note: words that are the same both singular and plural annoy me. The plural always sounds wrong.)
And maybe one of the ideas I’ve had for websites and apps could actually pan out, turn into something, but I know absolutely nothing about coding, and I’m terrible at asking people for anything, and I feel like the ideas are ridiculous until proven worthwhile, so I want to do it myself. But I can’t do it myself. Should I learn coding? Would I even be able to? I’ve really only been good at creative pursuits, not technical ones. But I also haven’t done too badly with languages, despite failing to retain any of them other than English, so maybe…
This morning, when I was walking to the bus, I was so tired and my sinuses hurt so much that I really just wanted to pass out. When I get home, I might do that. After dinner. And if the roasted red peppers I bought over a week ago have managed to go bad (the kind from Whole Foods–plastic container, not a sealed jar), I will be SO fucking sad.
Hey, I just wrote a poem!
I think next time I will do a few food haikus. –Wait, what’s the correct plural of haiku?
I’m feeling extra contemplative right now. It might be all the very contemplative blog posts I read this morning, or the change of scenery this weekend from Boston to lovely, suburb-ly Vermont. Maybe it’s just that I spent significant time with a person this weekend (my mom) instead of a few hours here or there. And as I’ve always said, I love my alone time, but I need to connect with people or life will always feel pointless.
I get these moments, sometimes, when I have lots of poignant thoughts about life, but they all just sort of drift through my mind, like wisps of fog, dissipating to make room for others and the dulling regularities of life. They might come back again, later on, but I can’t summon them myself; I have to be reminded somehow.
The only thing that’s sticking right now is: I have to write. Just sit down and write. NOT when I have the time in between my schedule. Like ALL freaking day. That’s what I feel like I need right now.
This presents a problem I shouldn’t have to explain. I have a full-time job (yay?). I have an hour-long commute to get to that job. I LOVE sleep.
And all the fall premieres are starting. This means that I really can’t spend the majority of my time sitting down and writing. Maybe a few hours a day, if I spent ALL available time on it. Which would mean no chores or workouts or cooking.
I know what this sounds like to some people. I don’t care, though. My “soul” (or whatever you want to call it) is scratching to get out, and in my efforts to keep it in so that I can make money and function as an adult, I’m getting beat up. Like anyone, I can only hold out for so long.
If I had programming skills, I would spend my extra time creating websites and phone apps until one of my awesome ideas was bought for some tidy sum and I could live off that, and write all day. I mean, I have had some AWESOME ideas. I’m serious. (Probably none that would really make me a lot of money, but you never know…) But I have no programming knowledge, skills, or training. So first it would require me to learn how…
Any plan I come up with has too many steps before I can actually make any changes to my everyday situation. This is UNACCEPTABLE. I need a now-fix. Not a later-fix.
Mostly I just feel like I’m fucking crazy.
I have plans to go to The Fireplace for dinner on Friday. I’m very excited. But actually, I’m kind of nervous about it as well.
No, I don’t have any worries about which fork to use–even if they are actually that fancy, I don’t really care if I use the wrong utensil. I have better priorities than THAT. And it’s not as if it will be an awkward social occasion either. Just dinner with my best friend, which is not the least bit stressful–in fact it is most exciting.
So, why am I nervous, you’re wondering at this point, I’m sure, since I tend to overexplain things before I’ve even gotten to the point?
I’m feeling a lot of pressure to order the right thing.
Now, if you’re not familiar with this restaurant (I’m not, really), it’s a pretty expensive place. I’ve never been there, but I pass it just about every day, sitting there on the corner with its “Boston’s Best Burger” sign in the window. It’s not the sort of place I can really afford to go to, and in fact the only reason I’m going there at all is because I was lucky enough to snatch up a livingsocial deal, just after I’d been musing that I’d really like to go to The Fireplace…
It stands to reason, therefore, that I probably won’t be going there again for a long time after. So I have to choose carefully, because I want the best possible experience from this place the one time I might ever go there. Having looked over the menu online, I’d like to try many of the dishes I read about, but I only have this one shot. I’d really like to try that “Best” burger, but logic says that it would be the one thing I could afford if I went back there without the coupon, so I should save it for next time. The lobster mac and cheese does sound… mmmm…
Oh, sorry. I got a bit lost in thought there.
Anyway, can you see why I’m suffering so much? Yeah, this is a first world problem for sure, but our “problems” are relative to our lives as a whole. Technically, all my problems are first world problems. Student loan debt is a first world problem. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.
Not to compare this to my financial issues… this is a problem that’s almost fun to have.
I am extremely susceptible to the dreaded FOMO–fear of missing out. It’s why I feel kind of sad when I see comments or pictures on Facebook about things my friends did without inviting me. It explains some of my impulse purchases. I’ve been trying not to let it affect me too much. It’s poking around now in this case, telling me that choosing one of those delicious-sounding entrees means giving up all the others.
In the end, I will get over it. I will order whatever I feel like I want most at the time and not overthink it, because I’m getting too old to waste time on stuff like that. Besides, the T stops running at some point.
I have one or two posts I intended to put up but I’m not going to do that right now.
I realize I haven’t been blogging much lately. Work is busy, and outside of work one can only sort of have both free time and a social life. One cannot have both. As I’ve been trying to get certain things done in my free time, I haven’t really thought much about blogging. I also have not been doing anything that exciting with food, plus I am not fond of the practice of going to get my phone so I can take crappy pictures while I’m cooking. It’s just… no. Not really. In addition, I don’t like taking pictures of my food while I’m eating out. It’s not that I think doing so just automatically makes you something of a hipster/douche (which… it only sort of does, and only if you post all the pictures on instagram), it’s more that when I go to eat food I think more about EATING the food. So how likely is it that I’m going to pause to take a picture before starting to stuff my face? (A: Not freaking likely.)
I have been making an effort to continue my Monday Madness posts here and the new weekly feature, Five Things Friday, on my writing blog. I think that’s been going pretty well. However, I still have not found time to sit down and write, for several reasons, and I have also been dying in the heat this week. I am so glad it’s about to cool off a bit, because otherwise I might have to give up on clothes entirely. Since I don’t work at home, that could have caused problems.
I have a Love with Food unboxing up on youtube and I’m soon going to make another video about how I’m planning to use the channel as a tool related to my writing. Not sure how well that one’s going to go yet, but if you’re curious, check my channel in a few days to find that one. Since that video will be centered on writing, I will probably post a link to it in a Between Worlds post, so you can also check there. (Links to the blog and my youtube channel are both in the sidebar, just scroll down a little, you’ll find it!)
So, I’m sorry if you’ve been waiting for more food posts, I’ve just been having a lot AND nothing going on at the same time, which has made for a huge lag in posting. I’m hoping I’ll have a chance to pick up with this again over the next few months. I am going to be making something hopefully very yummy in the next few weeks, and maybe I will get a chance to get some good pictures of it. Just stick around and you won’t regret it! (At least, I don’t think you will. But I’m not psychic.)
Weekends are the eternal paradox. Or rather, the two-day paradox. They are an eternal two-day paradox.
Because it can be very difficult to get chores or errands or goals done during the week if you have a full time job (or are a full time student).
So you think, I will have so much time on the weekend.
But what happens when you really need a day to do absolutely nothing? To just lay around and browse the internet or read books or watch videos all day, and only eat food that takes very little time to prepare? Well. There’s nothing wrong with having those days sometimes.
But what if you also had plans during the weekend that leave only one day for the getting stuff done AND the relaxing and lying around? What do you do? I guess it depends on how important the chores etc. are. So you might have one of those weekends with sadly little time to relax and do nothing.
In conclusion, do not let your bedroom get that messy. Cleaning it turns into a week-long project and you know you’ll only have a few hours to work on it.
If you live in the Northeast like me, you’re currently experiencing a storm they’ve decided to call “Nemo.” That’s a pretty terrible name for a snowstorm, but, really, are there good ones?
While I’m toasting my pita “chips” (just a cut up pita, no decorations) for the canned hummus I hope will be edible, I thought I would write a post. Give you something to read while you’re stuck inside, assuming you haven’t lost your power.
Anyway… I had birthday brunch plans tomorrow morning which are now cancelled. And some other tentative plans for today(?) that I knew would not be happening once I saw the forecast on Wednesday. Yes, my own birthday. It’s tomorrow, and although my Saturday evening plans should still pan out, that’s still a 2/3 disappointment rate for how I hoped things would go. People keep telling me that it’s not a big deal, I can just celebrate later, and also that I should have my birthday in the summer. I am aware I’ve been making it into a bigger deal than it should be, but how often does one’s birthday fall on a Saturday? That’s the time when the actual DAY of your birthday should be filled with awesome. It’s just going to be filled with snow with a little bit of awesome tacked on – which will be so much less awesome because I’m going to have to wear something totally different than what I was planning. No way those shoes will handle the snow.
I don’t want to explain why I was so upset when my birthday plans had to change. To summarize: after certain aspects of my birthday celebrations for the past two years, I really just wanted things to go well and not have any problems.
But on to other things. Although I’m still bummed, I’m not really upset anymore, and as I can’t do anything about the weather, I will just have to get over it.
My pre-blizzard activity was … Read the rest of this entry
(Which, incidentally, is the name of a great song by Baby Strange.)
This is the first time I’ve bought a turkey. I did help make the turkey one year. Tomorrow I’m lugging it over to my friends’ apartment and then it will be cooked and consumed along with many delicious sides. I made the cranberry sauce this past weekend. It tasted perfect when I tried it, right between cooling to room temp and sticking in the fridge. I’m sure it’s still going to be tasty tomorrow.
Let’s get one thing straight here: Thanksgiving is not about being thankful. Maybe that’s what it’s supposed to be, maybe that’s how it’s named, but that’s not what it is. It’s a day for overeating, obligations, and feeling lonely and/or pathetic if you don’t have plans.
I’m sure there are people who don’t have plans and don’t feel that way, but I sure would.
For me, I was always more interested in the food than anything else. All the earlier Thanksgivings I can remember involved a gathering of everyone in my extended maternal family. She has four siblings, and with that large collection of people I always had to sit at the kids’ table. I felt left out and a little lost in that big group, and then we’d always watch that stupid B.C. holiday cartoon, which is not the type of thing I would have chosen to watch every year. I was never allowed to go and read because that’s “antisocial.” But it was still nice to have somewhere to go, to know that the food was going to be great and that these people cared about me.
At one point, I stopped going back there every year. It made more sense to stay on campus during a few of my college years, and, my parents being divorced, I discovered that it was nicer in a way to go have Thanksgiving with a smaller group of people (just the two of us, sometimes…) and to see him a little more.
This year, as I only have Thursday off for the week, I’m sticking close and doing the holiday with some friends who also are not leaving Boston. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, alcohol… A small group of people I really like being around and no one’s going to make me watch that damn cartoon again. Can’t complain.
I also have decided to wear a fabulous pair of shoes I have.
Happy Thanksgiving! If anything interesting happens with the cooking, I’ll post about it.