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Blaugust 23: Then, A Nap


Although I woke up later than I wanted today, I started off with what should have been plenty of time. Then, I proceeded to waste the rest of the morning and left to do errands around noon. I was gone for several hours and should have started working when I got home.

But I was tired.

So I took a nap.

The nap was only about an hour. But then I checked my email and poked around the evil black hole of Facebook for a while. Before I knew it, it was nearly seven in the evening and I had to make something for dinner.

By the time I finished eating, it was almost seven thirty. I set my plate aside and finally started working. By then, though, I was stuck in an internet loop of Netflix, Facebook notifications, and checking my email every ten minutes. So I’ve only gotten through a little bit of my work today. It’s mainly due to stress, which builds up so much sometimes that actually working becomes nearly impossible. Unfortunately, the deadlines and the bill pay dates don’t change in accordance, so it just causes MORE stress.

And that is how you waste a day being barely productive. I hope this was an informative, instructional post for you.

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Blaugust 19: I’m So Tired


Ever since I’ve come back from work today (retail work: I have been doing editing work in short bursts since then), aside from some brief stretches of alertness, I have barely been able to keep my eyes open. I’m sleepy as hell because I’ve been waking up earlier than usual but still staying up kind of late. My neck is stiff.

Now, being back in a space without air conditioning (sigh), I’m not sure how well I’m going to sleep. Since I have a lot I want to get done tomorrow before I head off for a fun night of debauchery, aka playing rock band, I will have to wake up early again. AND I don’t even know if I have any coffee…

I forgot to check.

I FORGOT TO CHECK FOR COFFEE.

What is my life?

Coffee is everything. Coffee is perfection. How could I not think of it? And now it’s going to be mad. What have I done? I’ve angered the coffee.

You can tell I’m tired, because clearly my filter is gone.

Blaugust 17: Dogs Are Better Than Alarm Clocks


As I’m house sitting, I’ve been waking up much earlier than I usually would because the dog comes and whines for me to get up a little before 7 most days. I generally don’t have to wake up that early, so I almost never do. But once she’s woken me up, I find it much harder to go back to sleep (especially since I tend to have to pee also).

I have also noticed that waking up that early means that I start working much, much sooner. I often need a few hours to get to a point where I can function, so when I wake up late, my work day starts late. Late enough that I have to stay up very late working to make up for it. And my sleep schedule suffers even more.

This is the kind of thing one should hesitate to put on the internet. Admitting that you manage your time badly? A potential employer might read that! So I also feel the need to add: I can get things done quickly when I really have to. I can laser-focus and just Get. Things. Done. However, most of the things I have to do (i.e. adult tasks), I find frustrating or honestly unnecessary, except for the unfortunate desire to function in society. So it’s hard to feel motivated most of the time.

It’s something I need to work on more, I know. It’s a little better these days, but I will wait before I claim to actually be generally organized and efficient.

And I’ll end with this quote that amused me:

“We’re having banana pancakes for breakfast today.”

“I like pancakes.”

…”We’re all gonna die.”

Blaugust 10: I’m Too Tired


Some days I’m too tired to think of anything to blog about. Sometimes those days are somewhat due to staying up too late watching Netflix. Sometimes I just happen to be tired.

Today it’s both of those things.

In terms of sleep, I haven’t been doing the best job. I’m not sure how to improve that except for going on vacation and not having any schedule at all. Since I can’t do that…

More coffee?

Iced Coffee in the (Half-)Dead of Winter


On the bus, as I’m waiting for blood to circulate back to my numbed ears, I look out the window and I see people carrying iced coffees. Large ones. Perhaps I should rethink my theory that I’m insane. But, you know, maybe these people are made of volcanoes.

Ok, maybe I’m still insane…

But at least I’m not crazy enough to drink iced coffee when it’s this cold out.

This morning was day 1 of my new project: being able to wake up like a normal person. Yesterday, after sleeping way too late yet again, I searched for articles about how to wake up more easily. Some of the tips were stupid, but some were helpful, and the most helpful-sounding ones were repeated over and over again.

  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
  • Take some time to “wind down” before bed (I’m giving it at least half an hour). That means turn off electronics, don’t eat anything heavy, maybe meditate.
  • Turn lights on/open blinds right when you wake up. I’ve always noticed this definitely does help, but now that the internet has confirmed my observation, it’s officially true.

The articles actually suggest setting your alarm every single day, including weekends… I’m not going to do that this weekend (at least, not both days), and not on Christmas, but I will probably start to do it soon. My winter-induced urge to hibernate does not match up with my daily life. Supposedly, if you stick to the routine, after a little while you’ll fall asleep and wake up naturally at those times.

I’m also going to try, for a little while, to reduce my caffeine intake after 2 or 3 pm. I’ve been known to drink coffee right up until sometimes 9pm, although usually I stop closer to 6 or 7. However, I think that until I get used to falling asleep earlier, having unnecessary caffeine in my system probably won’t be helpful.

I’m not a decaf person. I’ve rarely ever had it in my life. Does it taste different? Is it worth even getting it? Because I feel like it would change the flavor. Maybe it’s just the idea of it–if I didn’t know it was decaf, it would taste exactly the same. I want to do this experiment. Someone, please give me decaf coffee, tell me it’s regular, and we’ll see if I can tell the difference.

Probably not. But I do like to think I would.

That also means less black tea in the evenings. I have no idea what I’m going to drink now. Probably water and green or herbal teas.

However, as I might have mentioned, my policy is not to deprive myself of foods (apparently, this is the European way?) or drinks, so if I really want chai or coffee after work, I’ll get it. I just might hold off for this week, to try to get myself used to actually falling asleep.

If you’re like me, and you’re not a morning person at all in terms of energy, you might like to hear how this project goes. I’ll update occasionally as my sleep patterns change or don’t change, so pop back in next Monday or so.

In the meantime, avoid iced coffee if you live in New England (or Canada, or somewhere else where it’s almost winter). For me.

Monday Madness Again


I haven’t even been awake (fully) for three hours and I want to go back to sleep. Such is my life.

And because I woke up so late, I had tea and cookies that I keep in my desk for breakfast. No omelet (see yesterday’s post about what the hell I should do with all the basil), no yogurt, NO COFFEE. I think that bears repeating: I had no coffee this morning. The truth is, I don’t need it for the caffeine. I can wake up ok without any coffee. (And, you know, this might be a thing that addicts say, but) It’s the feeling of sitting down with a cup of coffee, the flavor, the knowledge that I actually have time to sit and drink coffee, more than the effects of the caffeine, that make me so unhappy when I miss it.

And now that I’m sitting at my desk, I don’t want to go out in this below-freezing weather to get coffee.

On some occasions, I sort of wish I were a trophy wife. If that were the case, I would have time for coffee every morning, because I wouldn’t have to worry about being at work. And I’d have time to organize my home, which I have not managed to do. I think that no matter how long I live somewhere, I have to really feel that I want to be in that apartment (or house, but that would be a long way off) before I can make efforts to make it feel like home.  Like, I would really like to get some drawer organizers, and then I thought I could probably make some myself. And then I thought further, when the hell am I going to have time for that?

But I don’t really want to be a trophy wife. I want the perks without having to be showered in extreme sexism/chauvinism every day. I want time and space to do the things in life that really matter to me. When you feel like you have to squeeze in the things you really care about wherever you can find time, and otherwise devote your life to pursuits you’re not enjoying just so you can afford to live, the passions and hobbies can become strains–especially when you start to feel guilty whenever you don’t have time to do them.

I feel like I, and pretty much everyone else on the internet, complain about the same things all the time. We could all just shut up and go DO things instead. But it’s so hard.

Monday Madness: A Little Too Latte


There’s something so luxurious and indulgent about getting a pretty for-here latte in an actual mug, the standard leaf pattern on top, sitting in a cafe and sipping it. Knowing you’ve got time to enjoy yourself. This is one thing I think the Italians definitely have right. It’s wonderfully convenient to be able to get coffees, lattes, and anything else you want to go, in paper cups (which you should throw away in a damn trash can, people, because littering is both rude and gross). No one around here has time to sit with a latte on their way to work. Especially not me…

I unfortunately woke up much too late to try to have an enjoyable, leisurely breakfast. I had to grimly accept the fact, because it meant more sleep, and I figured I would just stop quickly at my favorite cafe on the way to work and get a latte (or regular coffee, I hadn’t decided yet). It was, therefore, unbelievably disappointing to find the huge “Cash Only” signs on the door this morning. As usual, I have no cash, and due to an issue with my debit card it’s a pain to get any. It immediately dropped my mood several points. I’m pretty much over it now, but at the time it was very sad. I’m assuming that they’re having a problem with their card scanning equipment and it will be fixed hopefully by tomorrow, because I want stuff from them, dammit.

Yesterday, I caved and ordered pizza for dinner. I have been craving buffalo chicken pizza like a maniac. The default place I order from doesn’t have that option! Can you believe it? I chose another place, and while the pizza is tasty, they really skimped on the chicken. I freaking HATE when pizzerias (or pizzerie, if you want to be technical about it) do that. I mean, I know you want to save money or whatever, but when I order toppings on a pizza, I expect some toppings. You know what I mean?

I’m not saying I won’t order from them again… just that I’ll be kind of annoyed any time I do.

Today definitely feels like fall, and that’s a wonderful thing. It was a perk to the day that I finally got to wear this lovely blue sweater I bought in July. Am I the only one that buys sweaters, boots, and coats in the spring and summer, then having to wait months before I can actually wear them? But it’s ok–just another reason to be excited when fall arrives!

To continue with the Craziest September Ever, it’s another three-day week for me. Since I did a bunch of work yesterday, it’s more like a four-day week. My plan is to work nonstop-ish until Wednesday evening, then take some work home with me to complete, but take advantage of the four-day weekend to get my own stuff done.

“My own stuff” will comprise, probably, a lot of sleeping and lying around. But at least I’ll get to watch So You Think You Can Dance in full on Thursday morning when I wake up (watching it on hulu sucks, but it’s my only option).

With a heavy sigh, I’m going to hunker down and work now, and will not resist my urge to get a Dunkin Donuts pumpkin latte later.

 

Monday Madness: A Travesty of Coffee or The 6:30 Conundrum


Monday mornings, generally being the re-start of waking up entirely too early for my tastes, can be very unpleasant.

I really think that the biggest morning problem I have is not being able to get into the bathroom.

I’m not a fan of waking up too much before 8. Especially if I’m not too excited about what I’m doing that day. However, since I do in fact have to get up and go to work, 6:30 would really be the perfect time to get up. However, that is usually the time my roommate goes to get into the shower. And here, I have a huge problem.

Generally the first thing I do, whether or not I’m showering in the morning, is head to the bathroom. It’s so ingrained as a habit that if I know the bathroom is occupied, I just WON’T get up. The delay should just be twenty minutes or so, and I could probably still do just fine if I got up at 7. But I can’t seem to do that. I either get up at (or before) 6:30, or continue to press snooze until well after 7–occasionally almost 8am, at which point I can’t do anything but get dressed and run out the door. No choice but to buy both breakfast and lunch, unless I happen to have some easy-to-grab yogurt and fruit.

This morning I managed to drag myself up around 7:30, after having my plans of getting up at 6:30 foiled yet again by the sound of the shower turning on. (To clarify: this is my fault, not my roommate’s. I don’t absolutely have to do the bathroom first. It’s mostly just stubbornness.) Yes, I went right into the bathroom. Then I put on a pot of coffee, and scrounged some form of easy breakfast.

Not really having time to relax with breakfast, my “second” cup (really third, if you consider the size of the mug I use) went into a travel mug. A horrible, coffee-flavor-altering travel mug.

I like travel mugs in theory, but I have two problems with them:

1) All my mugs but one seem to change the flavor of the coffee, so it tastes like pretty much nothing, with a slight tinge of coffee and plastic/metal. It’s pretty gross, generally. I have one ceramic travel mug, and it doesn’t do that. You know what else it doesn’t do? Keep my coffee the slightest bit warm.

2) The only beverage I ever use travel mugs for is coffee.

MUGS MATTER. I thought I could get around this this morning, but in the end it made me feel very disappointed with my morning. I don’t believe it’s the caffeine that really perks me up, but the flavor and the time spent lingering over my delicious roast. Coffee that tastes bad just defeats the entire purpose. The morning ritual is not fully necessary, and some people don’t need it at all. However, to grumpy risers like me, it’s very important. Without an uncomplicated, unstressful morning, I can’t have a really GOOD work day.

Monday Madness


It’s that time again. That Monday time. And it’s MADNESS.

I’m going to be totally honest. I had some idea yesterday about what I might post, and I was going to write it while I drank my coffee at 7 in the morning. Then I laid back down after showering and didn’t get up again until 8. I didn’t have time to make coffee or turn on my computer at all. And I have no idea what I was going to say.

Sometimes things don’t go as expected or hoped. Rather often, in fact. It might be smarter, therefore, to stop having expectations or hopes at all. But that’s a lot harder than it seems like it would be. I guess the best thing to do is to not let disappointment get to you too much. It is essentially inevitable to avoid disappointment completely. It’s perfectly reasonable to just get as much as you can out of the situation and then move on.

 

Does that make sense to anyone, or am I just trying too hard to be logical–and failing?

 

Monday Madness: Why Is It So Cold Today?


It’s about that time again. I really feel like “Madness” is accurate, although not limited to Monday. My life makes me feel crazy. 😛 I can’t really explain what I mean without going into super-backstory, so I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. Don’t worry, I’m a functional crazy.

1) I am SO incredibly tired today. I got a pretty substantial amount of sleep this weekend, so you’d think I would be ok, but I really just wanted to hide in bed and sleep for the bulk of the day instead of getting up and going to work.

2) Leisurely breakfasts are the only way to actually have a good morning. (Perhaps, don’t take this so literally. There may be other ways, but I mean that most mornings I have that are good involve a leisurely breakfast, or at least leisurely coffee.) That did not happen today.

3) Isn’t it fucking spring? Why did my hands freeze while waiting for the bus this morning? Why does it have to be so damn windy? Wind is pretty much always guaranteed to ruin my mood. Wind is the enemy of hairdos, scarves, umbrellas, stacks of paper, and anything you happen to set down on the ground. Also of certain types of skirts. Just one more advantage to the pencil skirt, really…

I’m trying to determine what it is that I want so badly right now. I am not hungry, as I had a snack of a Kind bar and then a plastic container full of vegetables. But I keep craving something, like… a caramel latte, maybe. If you’ve never had one, they’re basically dessert dressing up as coffee. You know it’s not really coffee, but you go along pretending it is for the time that you’re drinking it.

Side note: Kind apricot-almond bars with yogurt are really good. I need to get some more of them for those times when I need a snack, but I’m lazy.

In the future I do want to try to make Monday Madness posts a little bit more coherent, focused on one thing, but like I said, my life makes me crazy and my brain is all over the place (and not a place that’s useful, like in my head. I don’t know where it went). So we’ll just have to try again next time.

Much sanity to you.

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