There is danger in taking a break, especially if you’re feeling overtired.
If you are like me, you’ll prefer, as opposed to going straight from one job into the next, to take a little time to relax. Maybe you read some leisure articles on the internet. Maybe you scroll through facebook a few times. Or watch an episode of a thing.
Maybe then you feel really sleepy, so you lay down to take a nap for a little while. At that point it’s already been nearly two hours, and the nap adds another hour onto that.
Then it’s starting to get kind of late, and you haven’t decided what to eat for dinner. You don’t really have time to make anything because you took such a long break that you need to spend pretty much every remaining moment of the day working.
So, while you intended to take a short break and be back to working within an hour, instead you took over three hours and now, you’re stressed out over how much you can actually get done. How late will you have to stay up to get the work done that you need to? Or, how much will you be able to do before you get too tired to concentrate?
This is me at the moment. Having gotten stuck in a long cycle of procrastination and then bursts of nonstop work to make up for it, and trying finally to resist this cycle by NOT procrastinating again, I’ve been in a sort of nonstop work phase. I took a break from work for half the weekend, but the break was full of obnoxious train travel and social plans, and so I still find myself very, very tired.
The plan was (and still is) to keep doing the work I need to do, working straight through until I finish (which will likely be sometime between Wednesday midday and Thursday morning), and then finally take a real break from editing type work until next week. In the meantime, I also have the regular shifts at my retail job, and I’ll be there all day on Sunday.
Working harder in the short term is all in the service of getting my adult life on track (I would have said “back” on track but, really, was it ever?)–dealing with debt, finally having a savings account again, and actually getting ahead of my bills for the first time in a loooong time. And this plan always seems like something that should be simple enough to do. Just keep working. Not complicated, right?
Well. Sometimes, it turns out to be extremely draining. So you try to take a short break, but you end up losing precious time to the vast vacuum of the Internet. You look back and know that you didn’t do anything with that time that you’ll ever even remember. And maybe you regret it. And then you lose more time thinking about all the time you lost…
At that point, you just get back to what you were doing and you get as focused as you can. Which is my plan for right now.
Ever since I’ve come back from work today (retail work: I have been doing editing work in short bursts since then), aside from some brief stretches of alertness, I have barely been able to keep my eyes open. I’m sleepy as hell because I’ve been waking up earlier than usual but still staying up kind of late. My neck is stiff.
Now, being back in a space without air conditioning (sigh), I’m not sure how well I’m going to sleep. Since I have a lot I want to get done tomorrow before I head off for a fun night of debauchery, aka playing rock band, I will have to wake up early again. AND I don’t even know if I have any coffee…
I forgot to check.
I FORGOT TO CHECK FOR COFFEE.
What is my life?
Coffee is everything. Coffee is perfection. How could I not think of it? And now it’s going to be mad. What have I done? I’ve angered the coffee.
You can tell I’m tired, because clearly my filter is gone.
Some days I’m too tired to think of anything to blog about. Sometimes those days are somewhat due to staying up too late watching Netflix. Sometimes I just happen to be tired.
Today it’s both of those things.
In terms of sleep, I haven’t been doing the best job. I’m not sure how to improve that except for going on vacation and not having any schedule at all. Since I can’t do that…
This week my office is closed Wednesday and Thursday. So I have a two day work week, then a mid-week weekend, then one day of work, and then the regular weekend. It’s weird and definitely puts an obstacle up in front of actually getting my work done, but I’m happy to have some extra days of leisure snuck into my schedule. It’s hard to try to get both chores and relaxation done on weekends. And no one wants to do chores in the evening after a full day of work.
Now, to be honest, I should have skipped this Monday, because I don’t have anything interesting to say. I am too tired and stressed to be in a good mood or to really be creative. I did come up with some post titles for the rest of the week. I’m not planning to actually follow them, but I thought I’d share anyway. So here it is:
Daily Blogging for Pessimistic People
Thanks, Thursday [sarcastic tone]
Fuck you, Friday.
I hope you were amused by that.